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对我的咨询者说几句-给力心理
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对我的咨询者说几句

对我的咨询者说几句
个人原创

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https://yun.geilixinli.com/@!size60"/>

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发表时间:2015-05-27 11:29:58 311 0 2
 
     做咨询久了,与我的咨询者交流咨询的过程,也是我自我成长,自我提升的过程。在此,我表示衷心感谢。
     在咨询中,我真诚的对待每一位咨询者,我也能感受到来自咨询者的尊重和信任,对此,我心怀感激。
    每一位咨询者,都抱着强烈的改变意愿来到这里,每一位咨询者都寄希望于咨询师, 希望能找到自我改变的灵丹妙药。可是,咨询者不知道,当我们感到困扰,不是因为当时人、事、物而生,而是我们的思维模式、应对模式、心理机制出了问题,而这些是从我们出生就开始形成的,与我们的家庭背景、成长经历、父母的教育、自我接受有着直接关系。我们希望咨询师能给我们一个方法,不用我们自己努力就能解决问题的方法。这是不可能做到的,重要的是,我们是否真的想要改变十几年、二十几年、几十年形成的思维和行为习惯,是否付诸努力与过去的旧习惯较量,是否用积极的用好的习惯取代不良的习惯。也就是说,重点在于,我们改变的意愿和实施的力度。
     我的大部分咨询者信任尊重陈老师,相信陈老师可以给他们帮助,并能陪伴帮助他们走出自己的心的困扰。可是,也有的咨询者,他们咨询了一个个的咨询师,在每一个咨询师那里咨询几次后,就觉得没有收到他们自己预期的效果,就更换咨询师。每一位咨询师都有自己的特点和经验,尤其对于神经质症,得陇望蜀,三心二意,一个咨询师帮他治疗,心里想着可能会有更好的方法让自己好的更快,咨询一段时间,就跑到其他的咨询师那里治疗。如此种种,如何让自己能够得到系统的治疗呢?我的一位来自我国北方的咨询者,他有严重的强迫症,已经有多年的病程。在咨询中我告诉他,强迫症不是轻易可以缓解的,可能会跟随自己一辈子,我们需要掌握应对它的方法……在治疗中,这位来访者还是比较积极,没过几次就开始急躁,认为没有达到他的想要的结果,就是自己的强迫思维彻底消失。咨询了几次之后,这位咨询者说:老师,你先为我治疗,这次的费用我明天一定打给你。基于信任,我为他做了他的最后一次治疗,而这位咨询者从此销声匿迹。我也为他担心,是否遇到了什么不可控的问题呢?当然,我还是愿意相信这个可能,因为强迫症患者的超我很强大,这样的举动一定会让他心里更加困扰的。这样的情况不是个例,有一部分来访者是抱着这样的心态来的。还有一部分来访者,尤其是神经质症的来访者,在一次咨询后,症状减轻了,就会高兴,以为自己没事了,就不再继续治疗了。而强迫症最大的特点就是反复,当症状反复了,就又来治疗。我一再强调:治疗最好不要间断。可是,陈老师是没有办法控制咨询者的。
    美国著名心理学家埃里克森书中介绍,他的咨询者咨询的时间是以年来衡量的,当然,这有美国政府提供心理医疗扶助有关 。我们国人的经济条件有限,我理解,但如果用一个小时就能解决所有问题,这是没有办法办到的。“欲速则不达”,何况我们国人的特点是讲情,不善于讲理。我们经常说的一句话:道理都我懂,就是做不到。为什么做不到?是因为没有从根本上消除内心的负面情绪与过去成长经历中形成的情结。我一直在努力帮助我的来访者消除这些情结。
    如果我的咨询者抱着急躁,或者三心二意心态的,请你一定好好读读上面的文字,希望能对你有一些启示,因为信任和自我努力是咨询成功的关键。
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本文作者

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公益助人

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收费助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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咨询时
0 性价比

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原创文章
作者文章
对方反抗的不是内容,是语气和态度——节选我的书《幸福婚姻心理学》
除了语言沟通之外,还有一种很重要的沟通方式:非言语沟通。在生活中,我们常常通过一种不那么直接的方式获取他人的反应信息。譬如通过面部表情、目光接触、身体动作和接触,还有语音、语调、语气来了解对方的内心想法,甚至在他人试图掩藏他们最真实的感受时,都会通过非言语信息的方式泄密。
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远离极端的人,他(她)将是你的噩梦——选自我的书《幸福婚姻心理学》
一个人的爱越狂热,依赖之心就越重,控制欲就会越强,他们狂热地爱着对方,希望对方按照自己的意愿对待自己,如果有一天对方没有达到他们的要求,他们就会异常愤怒,用极端方式来威胁对方,以此达到自己控制对方的目的。
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心理咨询的效果之——诚信
诚信,是社会的规则,也是为人的标准,没有规则的世界,必然是混乱的,他们的内心更是无序的,而且她们内心是自卑的,觉得自己是不应该被尊重和信任的,所以才会把自己的生活搞得很混乱,因为我们现在所过的生活都是与我们内心期望的,我们现实的世界,是与我们内心世界一致的。 所以,在
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/" class="a_home">作者主页
语音通话

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