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心理咨询的效果之——诚信-给力心理
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心理咨询的效果之——诚信

心理咨询的效果之——诚信
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https://yun.geilixinli.com/@!size60"/>

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发表时间:2016-10-11 20:23:31 2843 5 31

    诚信,是做人只根本,也是保证咨询效果的关键因素。

    从业十几年来,经历了太多不诚信被欺骗的事件:

    首次被骗,是网上一位已婚女性,因为婚姻问题,痛苦不堪,因为当时支付宝还没有流行,只能银行转账,当时是晚上,对方承诺第二天一定补上。记得当时疏导了她激动的情绪,教给她如何与老公合理沟通,还有对对方一些行为的应对方式。咨询时间为一个半小时,第二天上午,她又来找我,对她如何应对老公临时责难给予了指导,并约定下午补上咨询费。但是,傍晚我准备询问她的时候,已经找不到她的QQ号码。

    或许是我太心软,总是体谅对方的难处,之后又有几十次的被骗。记忆深刻的是有一个山东刚毕业的女孩儿因为人际交往问题来咨询,套路同上,咨询结束后第二天询问咨询费的事情,对方竟然以“没有效果”为由拒绝支付。拜托!二十多年自卑敏感导致的人际关系问题,一个小时就能彻底解决吗?内心胆怯没按照我的方案去做,怎么会有效果呢?最后,这位女生还破口大骂,要我为她的人生负责,她之所以这样子是因为我一个小时没有指导好,估计她是把郁积了二十多年的愤怒都随着发出来了……

    更有厉害角色,当时银行转账不能即时到账,他一边说已经跨行转了,一边着急的要开始咨询。结果,一个小时的咨询时间结束,我的手机还没有收到信息。当我打电话过去询问的时候,对方拉黑了我的手机号码。

    金钱的损失不重要,重要的是我被骗的感觉很不舒服,幸好我自我调节能力不错,加上定期的督导,这些事件也没有伤到我,我最担心的是,这些来访者,看似是占了便宜,其实是亏大了,诚信的缺失会让他们越陷越深,很大可能会被各种关系排斥,而且潜意识的超我会在某个瞬间啃噬他们的内心,更难以自我接纳和整合。

    除此以外,还有一种现象,那就是随便许诺,随便说说,到时绝不兑现。

    遇到不少这样的来访者,约定了时间:晚上八点,下午三点……结果,推掉其他预约,时间到了,对方却毫无反应,即使给了对方信息,对方也纹丝不动。譬如,一个来访者约好了上午九点,结果,九点前有几位客户预约,我询问她是否可以九点准时开始,她却没有任何回应。一位着急的来访者走了,幸好其他两位是长程的来访者,约好了下午时间。对于这样的人,你是如何感受?

    还有一位安徽的外来来访者要面对面咨询,他们家有三个人给我打过电话预约,最后母亲来电话信誓旦旦的说好下午两点准时赴约。结果一点前我打电话询问,打了三个电话,对方不接,后来拨通父亲电话,却说了其他理由。我确实很生气,告知:如果不能践约,可以提前告诉我取消预约……气过之后,想起我《整理好自己,再去做父母》一书中指出:爱随便说说的父母,不诚信的父母,会让自己孩子对父母失去信任,对自己失去信任,对这个世界失去信任。父母说话不算数,不仅失去的是自己在孩子心目中的威信,更不利于孩子身心的成长,甚至还会影响孩子的自身形象。诚信不仅是品行,还是道义和责任。孩子还没有形成稳定的价值观,父母的表现,会让他们觉得,答应别人的事情可以不做,说话可以不负责任。这样的信念很容易让孩子形成“轻率”“不诚信”的性格,而这样的性格会让孩子在今后的人际交往中处于不利位置。

    诚信,是社会的规则,也是为人的标准,没有规则的世界,必然是混乱的,他们的内心更是无序的,而且她们内心是自卑的,觉得自己是不应该被尊重和信任的,所以才会把自己的生活搞得很混乱,因为我们现在所过的生活都是与我们内心期望的,我们现实的世界,是与我们内心世界一致的。

    所以,在我很多的来访者中,越是改变彻底的,越是讲诚信,懂规则的。他们拥有很强的改变意愿和执行力,会按照约定持续咨询来解决自己的问题,直到以一个大写的人站立在这个世界上。

   祝福信任我,尊重我的每一个人,希望我们携手,共同拥有最美丽的人生!

    

    

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本文作者

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公益助人

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收费助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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咨询时
0 性价比

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原创文章
作者文章
对方反抗的不是内容,是语气和态度——节选我的书《幸福婚姻心理学》
除了语言沟通之外,还有一种很重要的沟通方式:非言语沟通。在生活中,我们常常通过一种不那么直接的方式获取他人的反应信息。譬如通过面部表情、目光接触、身体动作和接触,还有语音、语调、语气来了解对方的内心想法,甚至在他人试图掩藏他们最真实的感受时,都会通过非言语信息的方式泄密。
616 5 1
远离极端的人,他(她)将是你的噩梦——选自我的书《幸福婚姻心理学》
一个人的爱越狂热,依赖之心就越重,控制欲就会越强,他们狂热地爱着对方,希望对方按照自己的意愿对待自己,如果有一天对方没有达到他们的要求,他们就会异常愤怒,用极端方式来威胁对方,以此达到自己控制对方的目的。
985 10 8
心理咨询的效果之——诚信
诚信,是社会的规则,也是为人的标准,没有规则的世界,必然是混乱的,他们的内心更是无序的,而且她们内心是自卑的,觉得自己是不应该被尊重和信任的,所以才会把自己的生活搞得很混乱,因为我们现在所过的生活都是与我们内心期望的,我们现实的世界,是与我们内心世界一致的。 所以,在
2843 31 5

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/" class="a_home">作者主页
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