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下午茶的家庭治疗-给力心理
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下午茶的家庭治疗

下午茶的家庭治疗
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发表时间:2020-05-14 15:50:39 361 0 5

武汉封城的那一天父母在国外旅游,幸运的是几天后他们顺利到家,并且自行在家隔离14天。直到二月低,大家终于从最初的惊慌失措中缓过神了,疫情的居家生活进入常态化,其中就包括每日下午茶。
一直以来,只要条件允许,我和母亲会喝个下午茶,半个小时,红茶、绿茶、铁观音还有普洱换着喝,偶尔还来点高热量的点心,这是我俩难得悠闲的聊天时光。疫情期间这样的下午茶成了固定的日程,如果有事还会提前“请假”。一段时间下来,家里的两个小朋友也知道“下午茶”,当嫁嫁开始烧水时,他们会非常积极的过来通知我,喝茶时间到。平常不太感兴趣的家中男士们也会在听到动静后,从房间走出来,加入下午茶活动。
疫情创造了一个环境,所有的人都呆在家里,哪里也去不了,尽管也有些工作,但是时间更加随意。这让我想到孩子们喜欢玩的搭帐篷游戏:所有人躲在被子里,紧紧的挨在一起,每个人脸上都露出兴奋的表情。这样的游戏往往十分的短暂,要不是被子太闷,要不是觉得没意思,躲在一起那个兴奋只能用瞬间来形容。而疫情让我们在漫长的三个月中不断的有机会感受那个兴奋的瞬间,
 
聚在一起的下午茶活动,似乎就像成年版的搭帐篷游戏,汇拢到餐桌前的那一刻,大家脸上洋溢着微笑,感到莫名的兴奋。
 
这种兴奋似乎来自于一种确定的感觉,确定大家在这一刻必须呆在一起,没有分离,没有缺席,没有担心。
虽然聚拢的兴奋转瞬即逝,但是喝茶可以让我们将这个瞬间延长,喝茶是形式,它的内容就是我们的谈话。母亲是医生,圈子里也都是医生,她会贡献来自抗疫一线的各种消息,新闻上看不到的小道消息最能吸引大家的注意。父亲是阴谋论的爱好者,热衷于对母亲的小道消息进行耸人听闻的解读。我似乎是那个客观中立的看客,保持谈话的气氛和流畅,让每个参与者都能参与其中;当矛盾出现时我会试着通过描述矛盾发生的过程来唤回大家的理智,当气氛凝固时我会说出大家的各自的担心,试图打破僵局;当情感流动起来时,我需要根据大家的承受能力调整情感的浓度。我俨然是下午茶的主持人,也好像是一个团体治疗的咨询师。

        欧文·亚隆形容团体治疗师是“机械师,给这部发电机上润滑油、锁紧螺钉、排除故障或者更换零件。”


团体治疗师也就是保证这个团体正常的运作的人。在团体治疗中,团体中的成员发挥相互治疗的作用。在家庭中,家庭成员之间也有互相帮助,相互疗愈的功能,而家庭治疗师只不过将阻碍这些功能发挥作用的障碍扫清而已。在我们的喝茶时光中,我不由自主的充当了团体治疗或者家庭治疗的咨询师,不但出于咨询师的本能,大概还是因为我也是团体中的一员,希望能够获得团体的关注和反馈。
在这段特殊的日子里,通过下午茶的闲聊,我们交流信息的同时表达自己的担心和悲伤,我们成为此时此刻最理解对方的人,我们互相给予温暖和支持。

 

         家庭不但是我们的力量源泉,也是我们生活意义的一部分。

 
家庭这个容器里面饱含着爱,只是我们需要具备团体咨询师的一些小技巧,擦去这个容器里的愤怒、创伤和恨,才能尝到这杯茶的好滋味。

       读到这里也许会给大家一种岁月静好,一片和谐的感觉。其实这只是现实中的一小部分,家庭生活的日常充满了让人暴躁的、心碎的、苦恼的、无聊的、淡漠的时刻。所幸这些让人煎熬的时刻挨过去后,又总会迎来无法用语言形容的幸福瞬间。我们要做的似乎只是怀着希望

去等待,当它来到时,记下它,让它成为内心的宝藏。

 
- End -


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本文作者

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公益助人

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收费助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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咨询时
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