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如果找到最适合自己的网络心理咨询师-给力心理
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如果找到最适合自己的网络心理咨询师

如果找到最适合自己的网络心理咨询师
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发表时间:2015-05-23 15:46:31 418 0 5

   有的来访者会说:在我们当地,就没有很好的咨询师!我该怎么办呢?而且我的问题,我不想去面询,面询的价格太贵了。我的问题不严重,用不着去精神科或心理科门诊。我害怕隐私被泄露,我选择网络咨询,很完全。那面对网络咨询师的宠大群体,非常的繁杂,如何选择好网络心理咨询师呢?

  我的回答是:一个好的咨询师,一定是要经过严格的专业训练、具有丰富的临床工作经验并取得职业资格、正式开业的人。但是,达到这些条件的咨询师,他并不一定是“最好的”咨询师。而且现在网络心理咨询师,有些就算是开业的,也并不一定就经过严格的训练,与发达的西方国家比起来,中国的心理咨询行业是大乱象的局面。但又有心理咨询的需要怎么办呢?事实上,咨询师之间没办法进行客观的比较,看谁比谁更好,或者说,咨询师没有“最好”,只有“最适合”你的咨询师。因此,建议你去寻找一个最适合你的即“最好的”心理咨询师。那又如何在网上并不了解对方的情况下选择咨询师呢?我相信来访者自身的感觉是很重要的. 

来访者:如何才能找到“最适合”我的网络心理咨询师呢?


  首先,是根据常识来选择网络心理咨询师。你打开网络百度心理咨询,将有心理网站,有很多的心理咨询师,首先看简历,是否详细,是否不虚夸,比如说什么中科院,北大清华的,特别是好早就毕业的硕士,博士来做心理咨询,你就要有个疑问了。如果说是留美,留英的,留什么的,什么国际大师的,你也要知道名头被利用的效益了。总之,你想一下是不是感觉有太过浮跨的成份,自己用心把握一下,最好。

  也许这个鉴别工作,来访者心急,很难去做好,怎么办,自己有心心理咨询,就要做好你的问题不可能是一两次心理咨询就解决的了,自己先读点心理学的书,知道些心理学的理论,这也有益于自己的心理调节,这样你去选择与咨询师工作的时候,你自己才会更清楚知道,这个咨询师是怎么样的,至少不是所谓的“咨询师”,他或她的咨询风格是不是和你是符合的。

  如果我没记错,下面是我在网上看到过别人写的,我自己也改了一些,我很认同下面这个观点。来访者要依自己的感觉和感受去寻找真正适合自己的咨询师。 

 “最适合”你的咨询师,在你与他/她会谈的时候,会有以下三种感觉。

第一,你会感到,咨询师说的话,你能很容易、很轻松地听明白他的意思,你所说的话,咨询师也能很容易、很准确地理解你的意思,这样在你们的会谈中,你们一来一往地交谈着,你会感到你们之间的沟通很顺畅、不费劲儿;你有种被很好的倾听,很好的理解,有一种温柔的抱持力包围在你周围。也许你慢慢对咨询师更信任了,你的情绪在这里被安然地释放,你的伤痛在这里可以暴晒,但这些可能并不是前面几次咨询就出来的,特别是对信任问题比较重的来访者而言。 

第二,在心理谈话过程中,你会感到有兴趣、有热情与他/她继续会谈下去,一次谈完之后,你还会愿意约他/她进行下一次会谈;对咨询师有了更好的信任,不是想去依赖,不是想去事事让咨询师来帮你做,也不会感觉到被控制。有一种温暖可亲的氛围围绕着你。

第三,在你与咨询师谈话的过程中,或者在会谈之后,你会觉得你自己受到了某些启发,让你对人、对事的理解变得更丰富、更广阔了,更深入、更细致了,更能够了解自己和他人了,对工作、生活和人际交往等更有自信心了。你也渐渐有点意识到,自己的改变和独立才可能是自己能够去幸福生活的一个开始的力量。也许这些也在后面的咨询中完全被自己明白,但可能在前几次咨询中,可能有那么一点点前兆了。

  当你与某位心理咨询师谈话三至四次后,如果你获得了上述三种感觉,他就是你最适合的心理咨询师!然后你就一定要坚持与该咨询师一起继续工作下去,要克服各种困难,坚持定期会谈,一直坚持到会谈的总次数达到20次以上。如果你与某咨询师会谈了三四次之后,仍然无法找到上述这三种感觉,建议你赶紧跟这位咨询师说再见,然后去寻找下一个有可能成为“最适合”你的咨询师。 
  就这样,一个接一个地找下去,直到有一天,你找到了一个“最适合”你的心理咨询师。恭喜你!

  咨询师也像一个你需要的鞋子,让你受伤的脚感受安然,自在,放松。也像一个你精选的拐杖,让你的手正合适地握着,获得力量与支持,等待你可以独立行走的时候,你会轻轻放下它。咨询师也许也要一个你寻求多年的那个精神伴侣,这是匹配度很高的时候可能感受到的,你们可以有一个很美好的心灵旅程,一次共同成长的生命体验,有时心理咨询也要看运气和机缘。

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本文作者

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长程个案

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续单率

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咨询时
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