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“我爱我”与“我爱你”,怎取得平衡?-给力心理
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“我爱我”与“我爱你”,怎取得平衡?

“我爱我”与“我爱你”,怎取得平衡?
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发表时间:2018-05-25 15:53:55 591 0 3


    5.25,谐音“我爱我”,全国大学生心理健康日;5.20,谐音“我爱你”,网友们自己确定的情人节。这两者有关系吗?
    如果五天前,你给亲爱的人送了礼物,那么今天,你给亲爱的自己送礼物了吗?
    这世界,到底该爱自己多一些,还是爱他人?
    或许答案应该因人而异。而这标准,全在于一个原则——平衡。不够爱自己的人,应该多学学好好爱自己;而不够爱他人的人,应学学如何爱他人。
    一般来说,在父母子女关系中,父母容易不爱自己,总是对子女无限的付出;子女容易不太爱父母,不太体贴陪伴父母。当然,也有刚好相反的情况。
    在夫妻关系中,要么是妻子一心为了丈夫和孩子,倾尽心血;要么是丈夫为了一家老小辛勤付出,唯独忘了自己。当然,也有夫妻双方,都共同致力于建设一个家的。
    但是,不管是父母子女关系,还是夫妻关系,如果爱自己和爱他人之间的关系长期失衡,最终都会出问题。如果父母长期不知道爱自己,身体出了问题,也会连累子女;如果夫妻一方长期不知如何去爱对方,对方一旦倒下或撤离,也必然会影响到另一方。
    相反,朋友关系则往往更容易做到平衡。所以,有时,像待朋友一样待家人,未必不是好事。
    生意伙伴关系,则更讲究平衡,强调平等互利,等价交换。
    至此,我相信有智慧的人处事,总会把握一个大的原则——平衡。父母对子女的付出,总会在子女对他们的子女的付出中得到平衡;夫妻关系的平衡,则可以体现在今生今世的互敬互爱中;至于朋友关系中的平衡,周期也最多不过三、五月或者三、五年,毕竟“来而不往非礼也”;而生意伙伴关系的平衡,最好体现在每次交易中。
    原因很简单,就是因为我们每个人都不是“恒星”,可以自己发光发热;我们每个人都只是“行星”,都需要从与环境互动中交换和汲取能量。
    就好像我没钱,我拿什么来给你?我没爱,我拿什么来爱你?我没身体,我拿什么来照顾你?
    所以,为了爱你的人,好好爱自己吧,因为他(她)希望你好;也为了你爱的人,好好爱自己吧,因为这样你才有能力给他(她)爱!
    那么,怎样爱自己呢?
    首先,爱自己的身体。包括饮食,休息,锻炼,不要养成不健康的饮食习惯、作息习惯。包括注意安全,不去做伤害身体的事!
    其次,爱自己的优缺点。这不是说有了缺点不改正,而是说不要对自己苛求完美。何况,只有真正完全接纳了自己的优缺点,缺点才会更有建设性地得到改正!
    再次,爱自己的心灵。要有自己的精神追求,要能调节自己的情绪,要能实现自己心灵的安宁。
    第四,要维护自己的关系。无论是家人,朋友,还是伙伴。

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