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从婚姻关系谈男人的痛、女人的苦与孩子的无耐-给力心理
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从婚姻关系谈男人的痛、女人的苦与孩子的无耐

从婚姻关系谈男人的痛、女人的苦与孩子的无耐
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https://yun.geilixinli.com/@!size60"/>

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发表时间:2016-01-06 15:16:01 596 0 2

       婚姻的连结往往是基于欲望与爱,有时是男人想要一个家,女人渴望被呵护,于是他们彼此许下携手一生的承诺。然而,如果这欲望与爱的品质,不是立基于共同面对生命的挑战与成长,则可能造成男人与女人说不出的痛与苦,婚姻不是家,而是牢笼,女人没有感受到被呵护,有时是不间断的责任与忍耐,若是婚姻问题没有洞察与解决,则任一方均可能得承受被背叛的痛苦,婚姻中的第三者,男人与女人均得负些责任没有人是完全的受害者。

     甄珍驚爆和劉家昌已離婚28年,由於隱瞞多年,她對外界充滿抱歉,但放下一生最大包袱,終於輕鬆下來,她不好意思地說:「除了想給子千完整的家,也是自己笨,怕傷人,又怕丟人。」一位劉家昌好友昨說,外界對劉甄離婚的事,一面倒地同情甄珍。婚姻中的欲望与爱,有时是来自于个人潜意识未整合的部份,男人与女人彼此投射,如男人不坏女人不爱,婚前总是对彼此存在着过多的幻想,而这些幻想也会在面临生活现实考验中破灭,于是,男人与女人陷入婚姻的痛苦深淵,女人常是现实的受害者,总是较可以博得同情,男人常是潜意识的受害者,莫名承受着不被了解的痛苦。事实上,若是他们没有意识到自己未整合的部份与家庭动力的问题,男人与女人他们彼此伤害着,均是受害者。

     然而,男人与女人如何从婚姻中改变自己的命运,重点在于他们必須意识到自己的问题,有时是要处理内在的情绪,否则就会陷入情感的轮回,即使结束婚姻,再次婚姻仍会碰到同样的问题,如伊莉莎白泰勤结过多次婚,仍难找到真爱。在婚姻关系的危机里,有时受害最深的是被保护最好的孩子,孩子常成为父母逃避面对生命议题的藉口,若父母间是有缝隙的,则不仅孩子教养困难,孩子也会产生认同的问题,如孩子较认同母亲,则就会否定父亲某些良好的特质,而母亲有些特质可能是不适当的,孩子就会认同,反之亦然,这些都直接与间接的影响孩子的性格发展与未来的两性关系,如孩子会较欣赏脆弱的女性等。所以,聪明的父母为了孩子,该面对生命的挑战,解决婚姻的问题,而不是给孩子一个表面完整假象。

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