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任性是孩子的心理需求 -给力心理
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任性是孩子的心理需求

任性是孩子的心理需求
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发表时间:2015-04-14 10:49:37 224 0 0

生活中,经常见到一些孩子特别任性,为达到某种目的甚至会哭闹不止,把家长搞得精疲力竭仍不罢休。人们往往把这种任性归咎于独生子女太娇惯,其实这种结论过于简单、武断。据美国儿童心理学家威廉·科克的研究表明,孩子任性是一种心理需求的表现。幼儿随生理发育开始逐渐接触更多的事物,他们对待周围事物,不可能像成人那样进行瞻前顾后的分析,而仅凭着自己的情绪与兴趣来参与,尽管一些事物往往是对他不宜、不利,或者是有害的。比如,一个3岁的孩子正兴高采烈地玩气球,妈妈不小心给碰破了,孩子会顿足大哭,怎么哄都哭闹不止。妈妈会认为孩子任性,无理取闹,可妈妈没有从心理角度去分析,孩子为什么会这样伤心?这是因为孩子已经把这个彩色气球“拟人化”,把它当做自己的“玩伴”,气球破了,“玩伴死了”,自然会使他“伤心欲绝”。婴幼儿的这种心理得不到理解和安抚时,无奈中只得以哭来抗议。
    
处于独立性萌芽期的幼儿,一切事物都想弄个透彻,这种“亲力亲为”的心理,往往会在不合情理中表现出来。孩子肯定有他的幼稚性和不成熟性,不可能像成人一样理性。家长有时需要进行换位思考,从孩子的角度看待他们的行为表现,对其要求不可包办代替或断然拒绝。面对任性哭闹的小儿,对其进行严厉的批评毫无意义,父母应该把力气放在分辨孩子的哭闹原因上,再想些帮助他的办法。否则,孩子的任性就会越来越严重,这实质上是一种与家长对抗的逆反心理,多因家长初始没有理解和重视他们的心理需求所致。所以,年轻的家长应该多了解孩子的心理,从而理解和接受孩子的心理需求。

 

儿童的一般心理特点 

一般来说,儿童心理具有下列特点: 

1.模仿心理:小孩子不到一岁大的时候,就能模仿简单的声音和动作,到了两岁光景的时候,他能模仿复杂的动作。到三、四岁的时候模仿能力发展得更快了。喜欢模仿是儿童的本性,所以做父母的,要以身作则,处处为孩子作示范,作榜样。 

2.好奇心理:儿童生来是好奇的,五六个月大的婴儿,一听见声音就要转头去寻,一看见东西就要伸手来拿。到了四、五岁,好奇动作就格外多了,看见路上的汽车来了,他总要停住脚看看;听见外面锣鼓声响了,他也要去看看。根据儿童的这种好奇心,做父母的对他爱看爱问就不要厌烦而予以斥责,应当尽量满足他,给予他解释一切。柏拉图说过,“好奇是知识之门”,儿童若不好奇,那就不去接触事物了,不与事物接触,就明白不了事物的性质和状况了。 

3.好游戏心理:小孩子是生来好动的,以游戏为生命的。做父母的就必须注意小孩子的动作和游戏。应为准备良好的设备使小孩子得着充分的运动;给孩子适宜的伴侣,使孩子受到良好的影响;利用他好动的心理,教以待人接物等行为,或指导其有益的运动。 

4.合群心理:婴幼儿尤其喜欢群居,两岁时就要与同伴游玩,到了五六岁,这个合群心就发展得更强烈。做父母的要积极利用这种心理,选择良好的小朋友,驯服的动物和小布娃娃之类,以安慰他的寂寞,促进孩子诚恳、忠厚等优良个性品质的发展。 

5.喜欢野外生活心理:大多数小孩子都喜欢野外生活,到室外去玩就欢喜,终日在家里就不十分高兴。不过小孩子的野外生活须以年龄为限。年龄较小的儿童,叫他们采采花、种种树,举行短距离的活动就可以了。年龄较大的儿童,便可叫他们采集标本,举行旅游活动等等游戏以增长他们的知识,强健他们的体魄,愉快他们的精神,使他们无形中得到许多好处。小孩子不论年纪大小,男的女的,都喜欢野外生活,做父母的要经常领孩子到野外去玩玩走走。 

6.喜欢成功的心理,儿童做事喜成功,所以给儿童所做的事不可太难,使其灰心,以致下次不愿再做而且阻碍其进步。做父母的应创造条件,让孩子养成做事的兴趣及自信力,并使其每做一件事情都取得成功。 

儿童的心理发展有哪些特点? 

就思维来说,儿童的思维在不同年龄阶段就具有不同的特点。孩子在三岁以前,思维是通过实物,伴随着动作来实现的。心理学上称为动作思维。动作是思维的起点,也是思维的结果,从动作到动作是这种思维的突出特点。比如,一只小皮球滚到了台子下面,他马上就会趴下,钻到台下去拣。他根本不想先动动脑筋,找个办法去取。因为他在这一时期还没有形成在动作之前在头脑里想一想的习惯和能力。他们思维主要是借助动作进行的,离开了动作就中止了思维。又如,当他手上拿一根木棍,用两腿把木棍夹住时,他可以是“骑木马”的思维。而当他把木棍放在肩上或端在胸前时,他这时思考的是“解放军的枪”。这种思维,常常在三岁前的孩子中反映出来。三岁以后,随着经验的积累,孩子的这种动作思维逐渐减少,主要是具体形象思维了,他能借助物体形象或表象来思考。到了学龄前末期和学龄初期,孩子的抽象思维开始萌芽和发展。家长了解了孩子这一思维的发展特点,就能更好地有针对性地进行培养和教育。 

就孩子的注意力来说,年龄越小,注意力越不稳定。一般四、五岁的孩子,注意力能稳定在十五分钟左右。有时,他正在兴致勃勃地倾听你讲的故事,但如果这时有几个作游戏的小伙伴跑过来,他的注意力就会马上离开故事,而转向游戏。 

另外,婴幼儿活泼好动,好奇心强,喜欢模仿,但生活经验少,往往又不能分清是非,这也是他们的特点。 

了解和掌握了孩子在不同年龄阶段心理发展的特点,便于我们施以正确的教育,提高家庭教育的预见性,收到好的教育效果。

    儿童的健康应该包括两个方面:身体健康和心理健康。现在不少独生子女存在心理障碍,这就是家长忽视孩子心理健康的后果。科学研究和教育实践表明,心理健康与否对儿童的身心健康、思想品德、智力和学习有很大的影响。心理健康和身体健康同是孩子成材的基础,缺一不可,古今中外有成就的人无不具有健康的心理。为此,家长千万不可忽视孩子的心理健康。儿童心理健康有以下几方面标准: 
具有与年龄相符的意识水平和智力水平;
活泼乐观,情绪稳定,注意力集中,有求知欲和兴趣爱好;
有自尊心、自信心,能与他人友好相处;
有较强的承受能力,能适应环境的变化等。 

容易造成孩子心理反常的家庭有以下几种:

1、不和睦的家庭。夫妻常因家庭琐事闹矛盾,轻者吵闹,重者打架,或因父母一方性情暴躁、独断专横,家庭成员不和等。家庭没有欢乐感,孩子感到压抑,变得胆小、委琐。

2、不检点的家庭。父母在孩子面前不注意检点行为,言谈没有分寸,举止过分亲昵,有意无意地向孩子传递“性信息”,导致孩子过早萌生性意识和产生性冲动。如果家长无教育引导措施,孩子有可能走上犯罪的道路。

3、不自尊的家庭。父母私心严重、爱占便宜、偷捞东西、蛮横护短、不尊敬老人等,孩子受此熏陶,便会形成心胸狭窄、刁钻自私、患得患失的不良性格。

4、不廉洁的家庭。父母掌握一定权力,或有社交能力,又不廉洁自律,时常贿来赂往,生活铺张浪费。孩子容易滋生好逸恶劳、势利尖刻、惟利是图的品行。

5、不开明的教育。父母文化素质低,家庭无文化气氛,很少与外界交往,教育观念封建愚昧。这种家庭的孩子反应迟钝、孤陋寡闻、因循守旧,缺乏创新意识。

6、不健全的家庭。单亲家庭或父母一方长期不在家的家庭,孩子易形成孤僻古怪的性格,严重者会出现扭曲变态的心理。

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