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心理创伤的来源,你有哪些? -给力心理
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心理创伤的来源,你有哪些?

心理创伤的来源,你有哪些?
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发表时间:2015-04-13 09:49:20 185 0 0

1、没有充分感受事物
小时候还没有学会语言之前,遇到很强的负面情绪的时候,我们就被斥责不可以哭,不能去感受情绪,从小受限制,然后成为自己的习惯。在我们逐渐长大的过程中,我们不再去感受,因为认为感受就不理性的,以各种理由去抵制,这样负面的情绪还会停留在身体当中,就像一堆包袱,我们每天都在背着,影响着我们的人生。
要解决情绪,就是要充分的去感受。任何情感一定要下定决心去百分之百去感受,直到自己有智慧、清晰而止。
2、忽略自己的直觉
我们不愿意去感受,因此我们只相信自己的理性。然而,世界上很多事物(例如手机、电脑、艺术品等)在还不存在的时候,就是由于某个人在直觉中有了灵感,然后他们把这些事物创造出来。
选择和谁结婚、购房、选择工作、商业上的重大决策……人们几乎每一项重要的选择都需要依靠直觉而非理性 。
3、指责/判断
我们几乎都是在指责、判断的环境中长大,指责社会、指责他人、指责自己。指责他人其实100%是我们不愿意去感受我们自己内在也存在被指责的事物,因为当我们指责他人的时候,我们自己会感觉舒服一些。
世界是我们的一面镜子,我们所指责的内容其实是我们自己的一部分,反映出我们自己的问题,而跟我们指责的对象没有关系。接纳这些内容,让自己不断成长,并从中获得价值,这是我们唯一的选择。
4、逃避当下
我们经常活在过去的回忆,或者未来的梦想中,而不愿意面对当下的现实,因为现实让我们痛苦。有的人选择酗酒,有的人选择沉迷于网络游戏……通过各种方式逃避感受情绪。
事实上,只有当下是最重要的。从过去的痛苦中学习到经验,从未来的梦想中获取力量,然后觉察到当下什么是最重要的。
5、从外界寻找自己
我们在刚出生的时候非常依赖我们的父母, 
甚至感觉到他们是我们的一部分。如果我们有需要没有得到满足,我们就感觉到“一些事物失去了”。有的人一生都在从外界寻找自己,金钱、名望、豪宅、事业、肯定、接纳、尊重……以为没有这些自己就是不完整的。
而事实上,每一个人都是完整的存在,不需要从外面寻找自己。我们只需要向内寻求,我们的内在拥有成功、快乐的所有资源。
6、误把需求当作爱
如果爱我,就肯定我、送我需要的东西、陪伴我……其实这不是爱,而是需要。真正的爱是不带有任何回报的期望,而是一种无条件的给予。
我爱你,可以跟你是否爱我没有关系。我们的爱人、父母、朋友无法满足我们的需求,我们没有必要要求他们的爱。
7、抵制变化
对于生活,我们总期望是没有变化发生的,这其实是一种幻象,因为现实是世界是不断变化的。变化意味着我们需要面对不确定性的恐惧,我们想要有把控世界的安全感。 拥抱变化、享受变化所带来的不确定性。
8、限制自我表达
我们很多时候不敢对别人表达自己,因为我们害怕被拒绝的感觉,害怕失去某些人对自己的认可,甚至不愿感受自己“登上顶峰”的孤独感。事实上,人们总有可能会拒绝、嘲笑你。
当我们敢于自我表达的时候,我们会感受到来自自己内心的力量、勇气和创意。
9、强迫结果
我的想法、我们的意图、我要的结果……当我们执着于自己的想法的时候,我们就是在强迫结果,我们只依赖我们的理智。其实,当我们勉强促成一个结果的时候,真正的答案却是需要更多的时间才会出现。
答案在该来的时候就会来,在还没有答案的时候,我们要做的是等待清晰。
10、排斥他人观点
当我们太排斥他人观点,我们就听不到他人,身边就很少有愿意对我们说真话的人。所以我们需要发展自己开放的意识,考虑他人的观点,愿意接受他人的观点。 当听到别人的观点的时候,留意自己的反应。
11、制造解释/讲故事
我们经常依据自己的经验做出解释,但是对于同一件事情,不同的人做出的解释可能是不同的。因此解释经常不等于事实,问题在于我们经常把解释当成是毫不怀疑的事实。
12、过度反应
在极度的情绪反应时,我们会丧失我们自己是谁的感觉,当我们在情绪当中的时候不要做决定,因为这种决定往往是基于故事的表达,不是自己真正的愿望,往往最后让自己感到遗憾。

 
这十二项核心动力也叫做十二项“小我”(Ego),它们就像我们脑袋中的一些声音,总是在影响着我们生命的品质。当我们消除了这十二项核心动力,我们才能与真正的自我相连接,活出自己的卓越性和意图,活出一颗平常心。

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本文作者

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公益助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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亲爱的,别让你爱的人自卑
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