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如何调整自卑的心态?-给力心理
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如何调整自卑的心态?

如何调整自卑的心态?
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发表时间:2015-01-29 14:46:06 272 0 0

研究自卑的心理学者阿德勒谈到人为什么会有自卑心理,因为初生的婴儿是没有能力去自我照顾自我管理的,婴儿依赖成年人的哺育和看护,也就意味着仰人鼻息,即使是内心不高兴有意见,也不能表达,如果不顺从成年人,命运堪忧。这就是人类最早的和环境之间的妥协,自卑的形成与人的软弱无力有关。
一个人成长过程中,想要全面对环境实行控制,好让自己感到安全,这样的任务是很艰巨的,生活的问题以各种不同的形式变换着对人提出适应的要求,当人们感到无法掌控环境,难以应对外界发出的挑战,就会深深感到自卑和无力。
心理学者对自卑的看法有不同的侧重,有的说自卑是在与他人进行比较的时候低估自己而产生的情绪体验;有的说自卑是个人主观体验到的消极的自我评价;有的说自卑是一种自我贬低的情感; 有的说自卑是某些生理缺陷或心理缺陷和其他原因(如智力、记忆力、判断力、气质、性格、技能等等欠佳)而产生的轻视自己、认为自己在某个方面或几个方面不如他人的心理。
总而言之,自卑是一类消极的情绪体验,带有较低的自我评价。
人类的一切文化都是以自卑感为基础的。“ 人的心理与社会文化互相建构,如果谁想要完全克服自卑,做一个感觉不到自卑存在自己身上的人,就得解构文化,脱离文化的束缚,游离在文化之外,显然这是痴人说梦。
一个人由于自卑感的驱动,去完成一些任务,当他取得成功的时候会体验到一种短时的成功感。——比如你上个月因为各种借口不去健身,这个月你终于按计划完成健身练习,感觉到自我挑战成功,但在与别人一个月瘦下来十斤相比,你又有了自卑感,这样又督促你去争取更大的进步,让自己能够对自己满意,如此循环渐进,你终于能够在健身方面巩固了良好的自我感觉,而不再对自己感到消极,自我评价也会高。
然而,当一个人产生自卑感,不仅没有因此产生动力,反而被自卑感所抑制,变得抑郁和无力时,自卑感就会成为获取成功的阻力。
可见自卑感不是一无是处,人的一生都在追求优越感和自我完善,人们正是因为意识到了自己所处环境的劣势,才要改善自己的处境,为自己努力争取优势,用来安抚和补偿自卑给自己带来的软弱无力。
人越感到自卑,自我意识就越强烈,就越不容易轻易屈服于自卑。
所谓调整自卑的心态,就是要在对自卑充分了解的基础上公允地看待自卑对一个人的意义。
自卑感会贯穿一个人的一生,人会在一生中的各种不同场合和时间里感到自卑,但自卑不是丢人的情感,而是自己的主观感受,外界的评价并不能阻碍一个人积极地为争取优越感而付出自己的最大努力。
从以下方面调整自卑心态,直到人格稳定与成熟,不再为自卑感所累。
1、自卑感和自动思维有较高相关,自动思维是影响自卑感产生的一个认知因素。对自动思维进行认知干预,把负性的自动思维变为积极的思维,是降低自卑感的有效方法。
2、培养自信心。自信是坚信自己有力量克服困难、寻求真理的一种理智感,它是在丰富的知识经验和对科学真理具有一定认识水平的基础上产生的。
3、客观地对待失败。行动失败容易带来挫折,令人自卑,人在争取成功的路上希望永远也不要遇到失败,但不管你是否情愿,失败的次数总是多于成功的次数,这是合乎生活逻辑的。失败是试错的过程,试错才能走向成功,成功才能获得良好的情感体验,安慰自卑。
4、公平对待自己、悦纳自我。一个人不能正确认识和对待自己,受社会文化影响,对自己的体貌和能力评价过低,轻视或看不起自己,就会盲目自卑。要改变对自己的原有认识,公正地看待自己的优点,肯定自己的成绩,自卑感就能调整到可接受范围。

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