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性格,是你成长中你最好的朋友(原创)-给力心理
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性格,是你成长中你最好的朋友(原创)

性格,是你成长中你最好的朋友(原创)
个人原创

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发表时间:2015-06-18 17:32:03 243 0 0

在这几次咨询中,很多来访者似乎很难与自己的性格好好相处,每次咨询都会挑自己性格的缺点,总是想改变它希望它变得更好。

殊不知,在你的成长过程中,它保护了你很多,它是你在潜意识中找到的对你最有利的性格,不管你争吵中选择沉默,还是跟别人保持界限不让他人走进你的内心,它一直都在保护你不受伤害,或许在以前你很喜欢自己的性格,很享受它给你带来的益处,但你慢慢成长渐渐步入社会发现它好像不能再保护你了,反而给你制造麻烦,这时候你就会抱怨自己抱怨它。

很多来访者来咨询都喜欢改变自己的性格,但是你如果不知道自己性格的形成原因及过程,一味地想改变它结果会适得其反。想要让自己性格变得更好首先要接受自己的性格,接受它一路对你的陪伴,肯定它对你的重要性,然后才能慢慢改变它。在这个改变过程中你不能操之过急,因为它与你相处了几十年你不能就那么几天把它给改变了,否则你就会反复改变它。

举个例子,一个来访者诉,自己很难与别人建立亲密关系不管是同性还是异性,只要关系亲密一点来访者就会把她推开,很怕他人走进自己的内心很怕别人了解自己,如果别人了解自己了就会知道自己的不足和缺点,来访者很担心一旦别人知道自己的缺点后就会远离自己,而且自己在公众面前会怯场,觉得很丢脸。在咨询过程中,咨询师了解到了来访者成长过程中的不容易,选择这样的性格是情有可原的,肯定来访者的选择,来访者很感动咨询师能理解她,她其实也不想要自己这样的性格,但是家庭环境如此她只能选择这样做才能保护好自己。来访者诉说了自己在成长过程中遇到困难时自己保护自己的经历,说完后感觉很释然,来访者感觉不会为自己的胆小懦弱所自卑,她能好好地与自己的性格相处了,虽然在这次咨询中没有对来访者的性格开始改变,但这是变化的第一步,接受自己的性格,先慢慢相处一段时间,充分认识它以后,我们再把它变得更好。

所以我觉得如果现在的你不喜欢自己,对自己的性格不满意,先不要一味地改变它,要学会与它相处,了解它的经历,再慢慢地改变自己。

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本文作者

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公益助人

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收费助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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咨询时
0 性价比

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