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如何化解婚姻中的争执?-给力心理
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如何化解婚姻中的争执?

如何化解婚姻中的争执?
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发表时间:2015-06-10 10:19:03 167 0 0

 经营婚姻关系靠智能不是知识,提供一些技巧化解争执,让彼此的伙伴关系更有默契。

 

    1.「对方不肯帮忙家事」 

   

苏先生认为太太回家已经很累,所以他下厨是理所当然的。

 

苏先生透露说,是老婆孩子的称赞,让他非常乐于做家事。自己的厨艺实在不怎样,大锅菜常常会煮得烂糊,但老婆孩子总是边吃边称赞:「好好吃,爸爸你好棒、好厉害喔!」让他很有成就感。 

 

2.「加班开会太晚回家,另一半摆臭脸」

 

拥抱、亲吻、我爱你,是值得所有女性一试的两性关系「破冰法宝」。

 

她有位朋友每次太晚回家,一进家门一定先给老公一个大拥抱,然后用愉悦的声音唤着先生的昵称,「谢谢你等我这么晚,你真好」撒娇一下,先生的气就消了。

 

     注意,千万不要把职场的霸气带回家里。

 

「进家门先把身分地位拿掉,」说起话来温柔婉转的她笑说,这是对双方的尊重。

 

3.「先生的家人固定周末都要到我家聚餐……」

 

如果每场家族聚会你一定要亲力亲为,可能没几次就累翻掉。

 

   「把主权交还给婆婆吧,」婆婆才是一家之主,聚会的型态、方式都应该让他们做主。「我只是提供场域让大家聚会而已,婆婆才是真正的女主人。」

 

家族聚会最想吃的一定是妈妈的味道,因此家族聚会当天早上,作为媳妇的会陪婆婆上市场买菜,出钱又出力提菜篮,回家后因为是婆婆在做菜,其他家人也会主动帮忙。

 

同时,也开放所有房间让家人可休息,「这里就是他们的家了,爱怎么用都可以。」

 

吃完中饭,她就告退回房休息,留先生一家人好好聊天。因为当成是自己家,大家泡茶吃东西都会自己来,不用特别招呼,临走前也会顺手帮忙把家里东西收拾好。

 

经营好家族人脉很重要,尤其是职业妇女,一定要跟婆婆和妯娌姐妹建立「同盟」,必要时才有帮手,婆婆和小姑经常在她和先生出国时,到她家里帮她看顾小孩。

 

4.「这些本来就是你应该做的……」

 

婚姻关系最怕把对方视为「理所当然」,缺少感激不懂珍惜,再浓密的感情也会逐渐稀释转淡。

 

    随时提醒自己感谢对方的付出,彼此也会更乐意为对方做更多。

 

    身为政务官的另一半,她早已习惯独自带小孩生活,有时虽然很辛苦疲累,但丈夫的一句话:「你真是一个很好的妈妈。」如打强心针,让她觉得所有付出都值得。

 

5.「我先生常让我觉得不快乐」

 

没有人需要为另一半的快乐负责。《当金星女撞上火星男》作者葛瑞提出90/10原则,他认为女人要为自己的快乐负九成责任,然后剩下10%再让男生去供应,这样双方都会对这份关系更满意。

 

女性每星期可以挑一两件让自己开心的事情来做,有快乐的妈妈,才有幸福的家庭。

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