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如何维持婚姻呢?心理咨询师有四点建议-给力心理
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如何维持婚姻呢?心理咨询师有四点建议

如何维持婚姻呢?心理咨询师有四点建议
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发表时间:2015-05-26 15:26:39 160 0 0

  热恋的时候,爱侣之间总是免不了互相的山盟海誓,对未来给出无数甜蜜的承诺来,从以往的口头承诺到如今已经发展成签字画押。从最初的关于经济财产的协议,到如今林林种种的协议,婚前协议内容越来越广泛。那如何才能维持好婚姻呢?看看下面心理咨询师关于维持婚姻的一些建议,教你如何维持婚姻。
1. 不要处处针对对方
无前提的接受是一个信念。一段健康的婚姻是需要在双方愿意下才可互相争辩。例如:我会容许我的小女人做一些她开
心的事。这些说话的立场有可能降低对方的地位及造成伤害。假如你的伴侣天天也穿戴浴衣,懒洋洋的在看电视,而你一句说话也没说、没问,这样你便没有把资金投放在伴侣的幸福上。可能他心情不好、可能他病了、可能他只是懒惰。不管如何,你的沉默沉静是多么令他感觉到你的不在乎。不是只有你才有权利要求别人,你也有义务去知足对方的要求。
2. 你和你的伴侣都变成了变形虫
结婚并不是代表将两个独立个体变种为一个有相同爱好、朋友圈子的人。假如你是和伴侣一起做所有的事情,那便大错特错了。 Shechtman 指出,假如你不批准伴侣过自己的糊口,最后他便会变得轻易愤怒。假如你对伴侣的糊口过份感爱好,或想知道每一个的细节,他会由于感到被人干涉干与私糊口而有窒息的感觉。真正的亲密关係是双方都能拥有自己的糊口,或是有私家空间,而不是两人共同糊口。
3. 事事以孩子为中央
一般夫妇都很轻易以孩子为中央,但紧记切勿这样做。有不少父母忙于带孩子去训练足球、学舞蹈或周日带他们参加派对,但实在这会使夫妻在不知不觉间产生了一种疏离的感觉。华盛顿大学社会学系教授 Pepper Schwartz 以为,即使孩子还小,夫妻间也应有私家时间。你可以和伴侣约法三章,例如大家还没有自己的时间时不谈孩子、在房间内不谈孩子等。
4. 伴侣间欠缺有意义的对话
你以为一句“你本日过得怎样?”或用统一语气说出一连串的流动、用刺耳逆耳的声音投诉伴侣等,是一些有意义的说话吗?假如是的话,你便不理解何谓沟通了。Argov 提议可以用一个开玩笑的方式和伴侣说话,例如嘲弄一下他或用活泼但甜美的声音和他说话。除了要留存一些对你很重要的事外,其余的都可以蜜意地说出来。由于若果你进步了他的地位,他会相信他是被尊重的。
心理咨询师分析,大部门的危机指标固然很不同,但它们都是基于统一个因由——抛却。假如你对伴侣缺乏关怀而又不能成为一个有趣的伴侣、假如你不挑战他所做的一切,假如你不能与他在情感上有好好的沟通,你可能只是一个没趣的同房。抛却伴侣是测试关係的第一步。

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本文作者

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公益助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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