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合适的心态,有效的咨询-给力心理
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合适的心态,有效的咨询

合适的心态,有效的咨询
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发表时间:2015-04-16 09:47:39 171 0 0

经济社会不断发展,各种问题也层出不穷,越来越多的人会向心理咨询师寻求帮助。在做客服接待的过程中,我发现很多人总是有着各种各样的疑问,例如对于心理咨询的不信任,对于咨询师的不信任,等等。其实做心理咨询应该有一个合适的心态,这样才会促使心理咨询产生效果。那么,都需要什么样的心态呢?

首先,心理咨询的当事人应该是愿意改变、主动求助的。这是前提,倘若当事人没有主动改变的意愿,那么心理咨询就没有办法开展,当事人会产生强烈的阻抗和抵触心理,这会严重影响咨询效果。

其次,当事人应该知道心理咨询需要预约和收费。原因有二:第一,严格设置咨询前的程序,有助于当事人重视咨访关系的建立,如果一个心理咨询师毫无理由地提供免费咨询,说明他对自己的咨询效果没有把握,借此来减少心理上的负担。我们碰到过不少例子,很多人没有缴纳预约费,到了咨询时间却爽约,连一句道歉的话都没有。第二,咨询师要费尽心思制定咨询方案以保证咨询效果,要承受来自当事人的各种不良的情绪情感体验,费的心力不比体力劳动者少。如果当事人不愿意履行预约和缴纳费用的手续,要么他对心理咨询还是有一定的疑虑,要么他对咨访关系还不够重视。

第三,心理咨询需要一个过程,需要多次咨询,并不是一次咨询就能解决持续存在的心理问题。很多当事人都有急于求成的心理,跟咨询师进行沟通时经常第一个问题就是“一次咨询能看好吗?”“多长时间能好?”这是可以理解的,他们承受了很长时间的痛苦,时间观念强烈,但是这种心态不利于咨询效果,当事人仅仅停留在心理内省和内心体验过程,缺乏行为上的协调性锻炼,这不利于从根本上解决问题。

第四,当事人应该明白,心理咨询不可能在咨询室内全部解决。也就是说,在心理咨询室中的咨询只是一部分,心理问题只是从这里缓解和好转,要得到根本的解决,当事人还要走到生活中去,享受生活的乐趣,在人际关系中和现实环境中最终解决问题。

第五,在咨询过程中,当事人应完全相信咨询师。对于自己的不良情绪和真实体验不要掩饰,要让咨询师完全地了解自己的无助和压抑,只有这样才能建立相互信任的良好的咨访关系,咨询师才能根据当事人的实际情况提出相应的解决措施,指引当事人摆脱痛苦,咨询才能顺利进行,才会对心理问题有效果。

第六,咨询师和当事人的关系是而且只能限于咨访关系。咨访关系不能发展为其他关系,人与人之间有一个安全的“心理距离”,每个人都有着属于自己的心理空间,其中有着当事人平时压抑的心境或者潜意识中自己都不愿意接受的内容。这些内容对于单纯的咨访关系来说没有,假如咨询师和当事人经常见面,对当事人来说可能产生心理伤害。

第七,当事人应该具备一定的心理依从性而非依赖性。在心理咨询的过程中,咨询师就像引路人,他会给当事人指名道路或者方向,但具体怎样去走,还需要当事人自己的努力。尤其是那些需要心理行为调整的人,应该注意避免把咨询师当成拐杖,而要学着遵从咨询师的指导,自己从心灵的泥沼中走出来。

第八,当事人应选择适合自己的咨询师。心理咨询和治疗是实践性很强的工作,空有理论解决不了任何问题,因此心理咨询师并不是职称越高、名头越大效果就越好。心理咨询师的职称高,只能说明他在学识上有造诣,但可能没有时间接触很多具体案例,因此咨询效果就难以保证。当事人的情况多种多样因人而异,同一种表现背后的根源可能是千差万别,只有经过大量的实案操作,才能敏锐地发现问题的症结。很多当事人都有这种经历,找某教授或者科室主任做心理咨询,却发现他们只会说一些道理,一点也没能解决问题。

第九,当事人应当了解心理咨询师和心理医生不是一回事,心理咨询并不提倡吃药。总有当事人会询问“用不用吃药”,“吃多长时间的药能好?”这和目前中国心理咨询的现状有关。现在很多医院都有精神科或者心理科,心理医生有着处方权,出于多种考虑,往往会稍微问一下当事人的情况就开药。不可否认,药物在一定程度上会缓解躯体症状,当事人也因为心理暗示作用,觉得药物确实有效。但时间长了不仅会产生赖药性,还有很大的副作用(体重增加、精神呆滞、记忆力下降等),更重要的是,心理症状的根源未去除,一旦停药,就容易复发。我们做了13年的心理咨询,3000多个成功案例,总结发现,只要不是遗传性的问题,或者没有强烈的躯体化症状,无论是抑郁强迫焦虑恐怖等神经症,还是厌学网瘾品行障碍等青少年问题,不用吃药就完全可以通过心理调整变好的。

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本文作者

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公益助人

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收费助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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咨询时
0 性价比

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