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如何给予抑郁者科学的心理支持 -给力心理
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如何给予抑郁者科学的心理支持

如何给予抑郁者科学的心理支持
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发表时间:2015-03-26 10:20:14 199 0 0

核心提示:他也许是你的朋友、亲人、同学…由于长期压抑愤怒的情绪或者遭遇了生活中的重大缺失而衍生出抑郁的各种症状,此时的他非常需要外界的支持,那么我们该如何给予他一些科学的心理支持呢?

如果你关心的人深陷抑郁之苦,你可能也会感觉迷惑不解,沮丧不堪,心烦意乱。或许,你会觉得如履薄冰,生怕把他们弄得更生气。或许你茫然不知所措,以至于不得不对他们保持沉默,或许你总在给关心的人提出好意见,尽管他们从来不采纳。

抑郁症是一种隐性的病症,将你与世界隔离。这种症状可以毁灭人与人间的关系,会让那些不知如何能帮上忙的人更迷惑。

但你的支持是必不可少的,你可以用不同方式支持你关心的人,以下是心理学博士Debroah Serani和大家分享的9条妙招,她本身有过和抑郁症斗争的亲身经历。

1、陪在身边

Serani认为给予抑郁症患者帮助最好的方式莫过于有人陪在身边,“当我自己感到非常抑郁时,哪怕只是有个我在乎的人坐在身旁陪我哭,无声握住我的手,或是传递出‘你对我很重要’‘如果我能帮助你,请告诉我’‘我们会想办法让你好起来的’此类信息,我内心都会感到温暖,进而感觉这些方式对我有所作用。”

2、小小的行动大大的爱

Serani是畅销书《战胜抑郁》的作者。她说,如果不习惯于情感上的表达,你可以换种方式表示支持。

她认为任何事,无论是发送一张卡片、一条信息,还是做一桌可口的饭菜,或是留一条语音信息,都能让他/她感受到被爱,这些信息如同黑暗中的明灯给他们指引方向。

3、不要臆断或批评他们

你的言语给你关心的人带来的影响也是不可估量的,Serani说,尽量不要说这样的话:“你应该看到好的一面,而不仅仅只是坏的一面”或“你想太多了,走出黑暗的圈子外面一片光明。”

这些话的潜台词是:“他们有选择情绪的余地,但他们却放任自己的情绪选择了绝望。”这些话不仅敏感很有可能将你关心的人进一步推向深渊。

4、不要用激将法

很多人都认为用激将法能减少他们的痛苦并激发积极的行为,比如:有些人会故意对关心的人不耐烦,挑战他们的极限,使用冷暴力,更有甚者下最后通牒(不好起来我就离开你)但仔细想想,这一招就如同把癌症患者晾一边不给与帮助一样,没有用,还伤人。

5、不要小看他们的痛苦

“你太敏感了”“为什么一点小事情都能扰乱你”这类言语会使抑郁症患者感到羞愧。他们会觉得被忽视了感受,或是你敷衍的对待他们。

6、不要提意见

与你关心的人分享意见好像是一件很自然的事情,大多数人都会在对方感到抑郁时迫不及待的给与帮助。

但serani告诫说:“尽管抑郁的人需要指导,但这些指导会让他们觉得被羞辱或者无所适从,导致越陷越深的后果。”

真正有用的是问话是:“我怎样做会让你感觉好点?”这样的问法让对方看到了向你寻求帮助的契机,她说“当一个人寻求他人帮助时更希望被指引并且不受到冒犯。”

7、不要比较

除非你亲身有过抑郁的感受,不然千万别说你了解他们的感受,即使你是为了帮助他们减少抑郁感,但可能直接导致你们之间的谈话减少,或是缩小他们的感受。

8、尽可能的了解抑郁这种感觉

Serani说,你可以自学一些关于绝望方面的知识来避免一些误区,一旦你了解了抑郁的症状,周期和结果,你就能更好的给予你关心的人以支持。

例如:有些人认为如果抑郁病人在某天很开心就代表他们痊愈了,但Serani说:“抑郁症的症状就如同涨潮退潮一样不稳定,很多人都陷入了这个误区”她解释道:“抑郁的成年人也许仍会开玩笑,有时候患有抑郁症小孩子在课堂上还能取得好成绩甚至看起来还比较快乐。”

抑郁症的症状可能还在别处显现,而且一时不易看出来,所以认识到抑郁症症状的深远性和不可预测性是非常重要的。

9、耐心具有神奇的力量

Serani相信耐心是对关心的人最有力的支持,她说:“当你耐心对待关心的人时,你在释放一种信号告诉他们不管多久,不管需要接受什么样的治疗,或从发作到恢复要经历何种困难都不重要,因为我在你身边。”

这种耐心具有非常神奇的力量,她说:“伴随着这种耐心,希望随之而来。”而对于抑郁症患者来说,希望是最难得的。

有时,给予抑郁症病人支持无异于走钢丝,因为你得考虑该说什么,不该说什么,该做什么,不该做什么。

但是记住,只要你是身边,哪怕只问一句能帮上什么忙都能带来无限力量。

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