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失恋后怎么疏导情绪-给力心理
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失恋后怎么疏导情绪

失恋后怎么疏导情绪
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发表时间:2015-03-02 16:06:40 232 0 0

一、为什么近年来失恋问题数量高居榜首

据一项心理咨询调查统计,每年心理咨询行业中,咨询失恋问题的来访者,占到总的来访者的近50%,为什么认为会因为失恋的问题前来咨询呢?笔者跟业内的几位老师也探讨过,一般认为,人的很多心理问题的根源一般是在童年时期,而童年我们又没有自我意识,往往童年的经历和父母的教养方式的问题,会在青春期和恋爱的时候发生,而恋爱阶段会更严重,因为人在恋爱的时候,往往是会退行的,恋爱的双方都会退行的孩提时代,往往那个时候的模式就会淋漓尽致的展现在对方面前,而对方也会把孩子的一面展现出来,两个孩子在一起必然会发生矛盾和冲突,因为儿童时期自我意识强,很少能考虑到其他人的感受,恋爱的时候也一样,当我们觉得在恋爱关系中感觉到安全的时候,我们就会把孩子的一面展现出来,如果对方接不住你的需求,就会出现问题。

笔者认为,好的感情,一定是两个人在不同的时期扮演不一样的角色,当一方变现出孩子的一面的时候,另一方一定要有知觉呵护和理解他孩子的一面,当然了,当对方在很兴奋,自信的时候,你也可以适当的变现一下孩子的一面,那样对经营两个人的感情是非常有帮助的。

如果热恋的两个人,没有意识到这些问题的话,就很容易在点点滴滴中产生冲突和矛盾,也就会出现很多人,相爱一段时间后,发现两个人不合适,就分手了,而失恋对于任何一方,都是有伤害的,所谓歼敌一千,自损八百。

二、失恋的常见状态

失恋是生活中一种较严重的负性生活事件。初期常以急性心因性反应为主要表现,如:心烦意乱、焦虑不安、情绪低沉、愁眉不展、吃不下、睡不香,对生活、工作兴趣减少,反复回忆恋爱经过,可以出现触景生情等。出现对爱的绝望感和一时的孤独感、虚无感是常见的心理反应。 大多数人能通过自我调节能正确对待和处理好恋爱受挫现象,克服不良情绪走向新的生活。但也有一部分人由于不能及时排除失恋带来的强烈的不良情绪,导致心理失衡,行为反常引起心理障碍。或因爱之深、恨之切,采取不正当手段报复伤害对方,或陷入单相思而不能自拔,出现严重的不良后果。

三、失恋后如何调整心理状态:

(1)失恋不失志。爱情是生活的一部分但不是唯一的、全部的内容。失恋后应认真检查自己,寻找不足总结经验教训找准在生活中的位置,完善自己而不是萎靡不振,失去对事业和生活追求的志向和信心。

(2)失恋不失德。当受到悔恨、遗憾、恼怒、惆怅、失望等不良情绪困扰时去做过激的事,可能会给自己和他人带来更多的痛苦。

(3)倾诉与自慰。可用倾诉的方法向家人、朋友把内心的烦恼发泄出来,释放心中的压抑感,得到真诚的劝慰。或用“吃不到的葡萄总是酸的”方法来自我安慰。

(4)失恋后要培养乐观豁达的健康心理。振奋精神把目光投向未来。

(5)失恋后要善于排除自己的痛苦,及时把注意力转移到其他的事物上。如旅游、散步、听音乐、看书等对缓解失恋的痛苦也是有益。

(6)失恋后不要放弃对爱情新的追求,不能因为一次失败就把自己封闭起来。 通过自身的努力,相信失恋者是可以尽快的从不良情绪中解脱出来。如果不良情绪对失恋者的性格、生活工作能力产生影响,就应尽早地通过心理专科进行咨询治疗。摆脱烦恼,再创美好生活。

四、失恋的心理调节法

失恋是爱情的悲剧,对于失恋者来说,是一杯难以下咽的苦酒。大多数失恋者都能理智地看待并接受这一现实,但是,也有一些人因为把失恋看得太重,并在这种打击下,心理失恒。因此,失恋者要特别注意保持心理健康,面对现实,积极地寻求多种方法和途径,疏导因失恋而带来的郁闷,不安和愤怒。下面仅从情感方面介绍几种调治心理平衡的方法:

(1)情感升华法

即当男女青年失恋后,便把一些自己若直接表现出来会受到处罚或产生不良后果的行为和欲望,导向比较崇高的方向,并使之有利于社会和本人,这就是情感的升华法。德国伟大的文学家歌德在失恋后,并没有因此而消沉,而是满怀激情地写出了自传体小说《少年维特之烦恼》,在世界文学史上留下了一份宝贵的遗产;

(2)情感宣泄法

失恋者在失恋后不要独自把痛苦长期埋在心底,更不要时常独自品味,而可以找些亲朋好友倾诉心中的烦恼,心情地将痛苦和烦恼宣泄出来,以减轻心灵上的负荷;

(3)情感转移法

失恋者可以尽快转移感情,寻找新的爱,以此来淡化失恋的痛苦,弥合心灵的创伤,从而走向新的生活。有道是塞翁失马,焉知非福,居里夫人的爱情故事,就是一个最好的例证。试想年轻的玛丽亚如果真和她任教的家庭长子初恋成功,她还能成为后来受世人崇敬的居里夫人吗?情感转移的方式有三种,一是寻找一位新的恋人;二是投身大自然的怀抱;三是积极投身集体生活,付出自己的情感和爱,使自己摆脱空虚和痛苦。

五、针对失恋后一个月走不出来的,建议接受专业性指导和建议

如果以上方式方法还没有让你走出来,那你需要赶紧求助专业的情感心理咨询师的帮助了,让情感心理咨询师帮你详细的分析问题出在哪里,结合心理学的一些疗法,比如认知疗法,情绪疏导疗法,催眠疗法等等帮助你尽快从失恋的情绪中走出来,提升自己在亲密关系中的能力。

总之,失恋是痛苦的。但是,只要失恋者失恋不失志,从失恋中奋起。那么,不但可以避免失恋后的心理失衡,而且可以使自已进步成长得更快更好。

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