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异地恋应该如何挽回?-给力心理
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异地恋应该如何挽回?

异地恋应该如何挽回?
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发表时间:2015-08-11 15:02:06 263 0 0

异地恋对于很多情侣来说无疑是一枚地雷,一不小心就会把甜蜜缠绵的爱情炸得灰飞烟灭。因此,当人们提起异地恋时往往会潜意思地感到丝丝担忧与恐惧。异地恋对于情侣来说无疑是一件重大的考验,所以,学会如何维系异地恋的长期关系技巧是一门十分重要的学问!


第一,保证见面的机会是维持异地恋情的关键。

没有一段长久的恋情是单靠电话和网络来联系的,没有真实见面接触的恋情就犹如空中楼阁,须臾飘渺。即使再忙碌也要挤下时间,为双方制造见面的机会。做好具体的约会计划,把活动蓝图植入对方的脑中,建立起对方对约会的心理预期和期待,这样才能让对方时刻把你惦记在心头。当然,惊喜活动对于情侣尤其是女性而言更有吸引力。但是制造惊喜的成本和风险也同样的会更高,所以不能盲目地选择制造惊喜,量少而精反而更锦上添花。


第二,保持一定频率的短信及电话联系是维持异地恋情的基础。

联系的频率既不能太频繁,否则就会让对方有压迫感,易产生厌烦心理;联系的频率也不能太低,否则对方会认为你缺乏对他/她的重视和关心,易产生不安全感。因此你必须要学会把握好合理的联系频率,减少因异地而带来的距离感。


第三,切忌在双方非当面情况下发生争吵。

在通话或短信中与对方吵架是破坏异地恋情的愚蠢之为。绝大部分处于异地恋中情侣尤其是女性的情绪极易被对方的一词半句所牵动,当你试图与其讲逻辑时,一旦用词或语气不慎,对方便易产生负面情绪,做出非理性的行为。等其自行恢复理智,可能已为时已晚。正如著名的情感专家康纳在微博中说过“女人的情绪,一条明显的曲线,所以她在长期关系中,更需要一个能稳定她的男人!”因此,作为异地恋伴侣尤其是男士,应该要有绅士风度,适当妥协退让,避免在双方非见面时刻引起争吵,使异地情感产生裂痕。


第四,融入对方的交友圈,让他/她的朋友成为维系你们异地恋情的红线。

再次借用康纳的话“长期关系中最重要的要素之一,就是要比潜在竞争对手优越。跟一个女孩子在一起,最重要的只有两个字:细节!细节的程度决定了你比竞争对手优越的程度!事实证明,大多数的失恋男人都败在这一个点上!”异地让情侣缺乏陪伴对方的机会,当对方发生情况时,你很难及时出现。因此他/她的朋友就是你最好的信息来源,通过把他/她的朋友转化为你可使用的资源,及时了解他/她发生的事情,做到即使对方没有说出口,你已事先知道该如何去应对。让他/她感受到你的关心和理解,减少异地带来的信息不对称问题。同时,当你被他/她的朋友认可并视为值得信赖的朋友时,他们会在你们产生矛盾时给予大力帮助。当然,要融入对方的朋友中,并非能一蹴而就,学会在这过程中循序渐进、润物细无声。


情侣在经历异地恋的过程中,会遇到各种各样的问题,所采用的解决办法也有所差异。但万变不离其宗,上面四点是根据大量异地恋情问题中的共性总结所提出来的。因此,保证落实上述四点技巧,在维系异地恋情上就能做到事半功倍。

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