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依赖型人格障碍心理咨询案例-给力心理
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依赖型人格障碍心理咨询案例

依赖型人格障碍心理咨询案例
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发表时间:2015-02-06 14:56:35 263 0 0

小北 /男 / 27岁 / 本科 / 目前待业在家一年/

小北60岁的父亲坐车五小时来咨询中心哭诉,可见老人的无奈无助。
父亲介绍情况:小北本科毕业已三年,这三年当中也外出工作过。但最长没有超过一个月,之后就是在家长时间的调整休息。他觉得没有很好或是感觉自己可以胜任的工作。整天就想些:要是有个大伯或是叔叔是省委书记多好,那样他就不用工作了。父亲感叹:“20多岁的人,你说多幼稚!”

  小北小学时,妈妈和一个外地人走了,从此没有音讯。因妈妈是个只会自己享受生活,极度没有责任感的人.从儿时起,小北基本是父亲带,妈妈很少过问,所以父亲觉得妈妈的出走对小北应该无所谓。小北上大学时,还鼓励父亲找个老伴。当时父亲真的很感动。小北临近毕业时,父亲想儿子将要独立生活,他也该考虑一下自己了。

  于是经人介绍,认识了一位姓姚的丧偶女性。因为投缘他们很快结婚,这时候,父亲把原来的房子卖掉,给已毕业的小北买了新房并花心思装修一新后,自己搬到姚女士的家,他们同时一起生活的还有姚女士的婆婆和一个上初中的女儿。父亲轻松地想:小北刚毕业就有了自己的房子,又是本科生,儿子的生活一定会越来越美好。
   

  可是很快,父亲发现,小北的独立就是那么难,找工作要找他帮忙,吃饭要找他去做,找女友要找他参谋拿意见,总之一天没有父亲的陪伴小北就觉得父亲不想要他了。父亲为小北找了无数类型的工作,但最后不是因为人际关系,就是小北觉得工作上不能胜任或是环境不适合等等问题,每次的工作时间不超过一个月,小北就会甩手不干。不停向父亲抱怨自己在工作中对人对事已经很容忍很努力,却还是会受到太多的伤害和批评。父亲以前每周给小北做一次饭,经不起小北闹,改为每天,现在小北又闹着要和他们一起住,说一家人在一起多好,可婆婆不愿意呀,何况房间也不够。因最近小北闹得更厉害,甚至觉得所有人都想抛弃他而失去活下去的勇气,父亲更担心儿子--自己的幸福也顾不得了,下决心和儿子同住,问题是情况越演越烈,小北天天在家不上班,他又不满意父亲工作太忙,总是想方设法闹着让父亲在家陪伴他,哪天父亲真在家陪他,他可能又总是在睡觉,沒时间理父亲。
 

 亲友们都说父亲把小北惯坏了,一点不为大人着想的孩子,不要理他,但父亲理解:小北心里是接纳后妈的,他不是在胡闹,小北是个善良的孩子,只是他承受力太差。父亲渴望着--小北有一天心理上能真正独立。

初步了解情况点评:
小北性格内向,不善与人交往。从小和父亲生活在一起。由于缺乏母亲照顾,父亲和爷爷奶奶也对其关怀备至,从小到大对他照顾过多(爷爷奶奶在小北读大学时去世)。家庭过分的溺爱使得小北形成了胆小、懦弱的性格。同时,对一个孩子来说最重要的基本母爱,小北内心感受不深。进入社会以后,由于父亲突然不在身边,失去了可以依赖的人,因而难以适应生活,对自己缺乏信心、自暴自弃、逃避现实。(说明一下:小北大学在自家本市就读,大学期间曾恋爱,因女友的家离学校也很近,所以不但是女友,就是女友的妈妈都是一直非常照顾小北,不过可惜,大学毕业时女友出国,两人分手)。

心理咨询师点评:

很明显,小北缺乏独立自主的性格,一旦遇到与亲人分离疏远的情况,心理上就会产生恐慌无助的反应,说明他的人格是一种依赖型人格,同时伴随自我评价不恰当,人际间交往不适,独处时不能怡然自乐等。情绪低落的时候,小北会觉得是亲人们造成他现在的处境,让他很愤怒。

依赖型人格严重者,虽有较好的工作能力,但由于缺乏自信和独立精神,会不时地需要别人的帮助,他们不果断,判断力不够,总是依靠别人为自己做出决策或指出方向。

 人格障碍的治疗是困难的,他们较少主动求医,至今没有哪一种药物对人格障碍是普遍有用的,不同类型的人格障碍应采用不同种类的心理治疗。人格障碍从小萌芽,始于儿童期,发展于青少年时期,青春期后人格才会基本稳定,所以年龄越小,人格的可塑性越大。成人后,人格障碍不仅对婚姻危害很大,在人际交往、工作等方面也会受到不同程度的影响。总之,有人格障碍者,自己痛苦也会给别人带来痛苦,家庭不能幸福安宁,社会也因此不和谐。人格障碍最先是一起生活最亲近的人发现问题。所以父母在关注孩子学业的同时,更要关注孩子的人格特征,一些性格问题经适当的心理治疗可以纠正,对于各类人格障碍,不能听之任之,发展下去可出现不正常人格。

依赖型人格障碍特征:
依赖型人格障碍是日常生活中较常见的人格障碍。美国《精神障碍的诊断与统计手册》中将依赖型人格的特征定义为:
  1、深感自己软弱无助,总是感觉“我真可怜”。当需要自己拿主意时,便感到一筹莫展。
  2、在没有从他人处得到大量的建议和保证之前,不能对日常事务做出决策。
  3、让他人为自己做大多数的重要决定,如在何处生活,该选择什么职业等。
  4、无意识地倾向于以别人的看法来评价自己。
  5、理所当然地认为别人比自己优秀,比自己有吸引力,比自己能干。
  6、缺乏独立性,很难单独展开计划。
  7、过度容忍,为讨好他人甘愿做低下的或自己不愿做的事。
  8、害怕被他人忽视,明知他人的错误也随声附和。
  9、很容易因为没有得到赞许或遭到批评而受到伤害。
  10、经常被遭人遗弃的念头所折磨。
  11、当亲密的关系中止时感到无助或崩溃。
  12、独处时有不适和无助感,或竭尽全力以逃避孤独。

    只要出现其中的五项,即可诊断为依赖型人格。

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本文作者

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长程个案

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续单率

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