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婚姻家庭心理咨询:婆媳相处中的谁是谁非-给力心理
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婚姻家庭心理咨询:婆媳相处中的谁是谁非

婚姻家庭心理咨询:婆媳相处中的谁是谁非
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发表时间:2015-03-12 09:53:01 271 0 0

在婚姻家庭心理咨询中,婆媳矛盾是最常见的一大问题。婆媳关系可以说是中国家庭内部人际关系中最难处的一个传统难题,可以说是天下第一难题。如果处理得好,婆婆和媳妇各自“爱屋及乌”,各得其所,其乐融融。如果处理得不好,则婆媳之间会出现裂痕,甚至闹得家庭鸡犬不宁。 那婆媳相处到底有什么解不开的难题?下面我们就共同来看一下吧。   

一、媳妇觉得婆婆当自己是外人   媳妇心里,婆婆只不过是我丈夫的母亲,在结婚之前,她在我的生命中根本没有任何意义。所以媳妇不懂,为何一结婚之后,我活了二十多年的岁月全部必须归零,然后变成所谓“婆家”的人。婆婆就是这么现实的人,她对我这个媳妇就是当媳妇,而且我该做的事她不会帮我,对我永远当不了自己人 。婆婆还对我有意见,对我做的事情总是拿着放大镜来挑剔。这简直是得了便宜还卖乖。   

二、婆婆抱怨儿子有了媳妇忘了娘   在婆婆心中,儿子的生命是她赋予的,他的一切都是因我这么多年来的含辛茹苦地抚养,媳妇没有一丝一毫的功劳。所以,婆婆也不懂了,为何儿子一结婚后,我教了多年的儿子,衣食住行变成要媳妇来操心,而且什么都听她的,我几十年的心血也因她化为乌有。她这个所谓的“我家”的人,在家里横行霸道,抢班夺权,婆婆心里一定不平衡。   

三、婆媳育儿方式不同   教育孩子本是家长的任务,但是由于现在中国的国情,带孩子变成了老一辈的工作,无论哪个城市的街头都可以看到老年人带着孩子。由于生长背景、思想观念、文化知识等的不同,婆媳之间相处难免会发生一些不愉快,遇到教育下一代这样的大事,观念的冲突也会更激烈一些。这也许是每对婆媳都要面对的问题。   

四、婆媳价值观完全不同   如果媳妇遇到懂得生活的婆婆真是万幸!但是如果遇到一个思想保守并节俭持家的婆婆,应该会让媳妇头痛不已吧?现在的媳妇生活自由,注重生活品质,但是婆婆的想法未必是这样的,那么争执必定展开,只是早晚的问题罢了。   

五、婆婆干涉媳妇的生活   老公是在母亲无微不至的照顾下长大了,就算结婚了,婆婆还是会把老公当成一个孩子,往往让媳妇哭笑不得,她们随意进入媳妇的房间,随意改变房间摆设。让生活陷入混乱,但是婆婆依然是以为你们好为借口,这样的情况,矛盾怎么会不发生?   小家庭中,年轻的媳妇当然想自己担当女主人的角色,所以一旦婆婆强行进入小家庭生活,并且企图用自己的价值观凌驾这个家庭,以自己的意志管理和影响儿子媳妇的生活时,必然会带来伤害和痛苦。   婆媳矛盾是我们中华民族的千古矛盾,一直都得不到缓解。要想处理好婆媳关系,婆媳首先应该相互尊重、相互理解、相互宽容对方,要相互承让对方有独立的人格,独立的经济地位,谁也不要支配谁,谁也不要完全听命于谁。其次,要多换位思考,承认老人与年轻人有代沟。媳妇要多体谅老人心理,老人所想的不可能和年轻人完全一样;婆婆要多体谅媳妇的心理,体谅年轻人的粗心疏忽,不要对媳妇的偶尔疏忽耿耿于怀。

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