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一例因失恋而导致的低自我认同者的治疗案例-给力心理
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一例因失恋而导致的低自我认同者的治疗案例

一例因失恋而导致的低自我认同者的治疗案例
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发表时间:2015-02-06 16:22:55 215 0 0

1.求助者的资料

  小丽,女,20岁,本科,大一学生,性格开朗。与父母关系良好,但父亲酗酒,酒后会跟母亲吵架,父母关系因此受到影响。高考结束后认识了一个男孩,两人很聊得来,一个月后建立了恋爱关系,并告知了双方父母。男孩是中专毕业,在工地上干活,已经工作了三四年,家里开始催促结婚的事情,而小丽还有三年才大学毕业。之后因为这个问题,产生过几次争吵,后来经过考虑,小丽同意先结婚,再继续上学。可后来还是没能够维持这段关系,最终男孩提出分手。失恋导致小丽无法安心学习,经常以泪洗面,认为自己很差劲,很没用。

2.咨询过程

  2.1了解问题阶段(第1次):叙说故事

  接纳来访者,引导其充分诉说故事,“虽然文化程度有差距,但是我们相处的过程中一直很和谐”、“我把他当作结婚对象相处的,可付出了那么多,最终他还是抛弃了我,我很没用,什么都做不好,觉得现在的生活没有意思”。

  2.2问题解决阶段第二阶段(第2~4次):问题外化

  把贴在“人”身上的标签撕掉,问题和人是相互独立的。把问题对象化,让来访者意识到自己不是问题,问题本身才是问题。这样来访者才能更客观地看待问题,并获得解决问题的力量。

  为问题命名。向来访者求证主题,强化人与问题的独立。即明确“主线故事”聚焦之处,让来访者对问题有掌控。通过分析,小丽将问题命名为“无助的小孩儿”。失恋催生了这个无助的孩子,她不知道自己身在何处,将去向何方。这个无助的小孩儿,经常干扰小丽的学习,落下了很多课程,还要面临考试,课余时间也让小丽无法料理好生活中的琐事,衣服攒了一堆还不洗,深夜无法入睡。

  跳出问题看故事。提醒小丽更全面的分析问题,寻找解决问题本身的途径,并减轻负性情绪。自己能够做些什么,拯救这个“无助的小孩儿”,让她不再无助,也不再打扰小丽的正常生活。

  寻找例外。发现故事中被忽视的内容,即寻找不符合问题故事的例外事件,帮助其认识到一些不被自己注意的积极事件。如小丽意识到“我在自己喜欢的专业课上还是能够全身心投入的”、“虽然我不像以前那样,每次换下来的衣服立即去洗,但我还是定时的换衣服,保持外貌的整洁”随着例外的逐渐增加,自信心有所提高,也为重构故事打下基础。

  2.3效果提升阶段第三阶段(第5~7次):重构主线故事

  例外事件像滚雪球一样越来越大,让其产生新的视角。发现生活中的意义,来访者能够正常进行的事件越来越多,受干扰的事情自然而然就变少了。之前由于自己对这份感情的珍视,不愿意面对两人交往中不和谐的因素,而选择回避这些信息。通过自己的反思以及与朋友的沟通,也让其正视和男友之间一直存在的问题。内心原谅男友所做的决定和对其造成的伤害,坦然面对分手的事实。

  2.4结束治疗阶段第四阶段(第8次):仪式性强化

  强化小丽的自我认同,并鼓励其与身边的人分享自己的感受。通过重要他人的见证,强化她的改变和成长。采用告别仪式,与过去的恋人告别,接纳自己的过往感情经历,并认真地渡过失恋阶段,开始迎接新的生活。

3.结果

  小丽自述:“现在心情平静了很多,只是偶尔会想到这件事情,生活和学习状态也逐渐恢复正常,我要付出更多的努力,才能弥补这段时间荒废掉的时光。还好我的大学生涯刚刚过去四分之一,我醒悟的还不算晚。我身边的朋友都看到我这段时间的成长,并为我能够走出失恋的阴霾而感到高兴。这一段经历,也让我更清楚地认识到家人和朋友的重要性,我会更加珍惜那些爱我的人。我相信通过我自己的努力,我会变得更加优秀,也会拥有属于我的美好未来。”

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本文作者

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公益助人

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长程个案

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续单率

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咨询时
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